Was Me

As we grow, we learn that everything can’t be like what we had expected. Disappointments are result of our high expectations.

We dream to have a happy life, but we wanted many things to be reached. We hurt ourselves when it doesn’t work as our thought.

I do, I am drowning in a lake of sadness, every day. I locked myself, my life, my heart, my thoughts and I kept all those negative mind in my head. They’re spinning around me make feel so useless and unhelpful.

No one can help me at time, It’s just me that try to swim to the top and wish the air would welcome me. I wish the sunshine will shine through my face, bring me peace.

Even if I surrounded by the people I love, they try to make me smile but I am not. I don’t know where is my heart? Why is hard to find it inside me?

Then, hurting my body would be the nice option to feel hurt. I was thinking that giving myself a scratch will make me feel better. Regret comes as a result a few days after the wound healed. It left its trace on me.

I am running, running, and keep running. I screaming, and keep screaming..

I was lost in nowhere..

I am crying, shouting my Mom’s name, wish her would came and see me hurt..

But, no one comes..

I’ve just realized that the only person that could love myself was me.

Duta Indah Iconic,

Jul. 16, 2019